Oh, the holidays

Just finished up the thanksgiving weekend.....I feel extremely FAT right now as I sit and type this thing. I feel like that "fat man" from Monty Python's "the meaning of life" skit where he says "I can't eat another bite. One more bite and I'm going to throw up".
I know I may be the only one who feels the way I'm feeling right now but as I spent the last three days eating, thinking of what to eat next, knowing we will once again be called in to eat, followed by periods of t.v. watching and sleep then waking up and doing it all over again. I'm overwhelmed with the feeling of "YUCK". Not because I don't like doing any of these things and not because I don't enjoy the people I'm experiencing all this with, because I do. But that during this season I've become very aware of the fact that I'm something I really don't want to be. Or is it that i've become something I don't like being....oh, I don't know, I just feel full, no FAT.
My stomach is full.
My house is full.
My attic is full......I've got stuff in the garage, back porch, back yard. I've got stuff everywhere. It seems I'm a little crowded on the inside of me too. Full of the things i've seen that have stuck with me, the experiences i've experienced that has hurt, made me bitter, untrustworthy, fearful, ashamed, sad, unsure. It's like I feel FAT on the inside too, in my mind, heart, soul, everything is sooooooooo FULL. Now Christmas is coming and I'm supposed to ask for more? More food for my stomach. More stuff for my home, attic and backyard. More things to see, experiences to experience....chew, chew, swallow....chew, chew, swallow.
I don't want more. I don't want more stuff on the outside or inside. In fact I think I would like less. Less stuff, less clutter. They say you get fat because your taking in more than you really need and that when you do that your body transfers it to storage. Your body actually gets a storage unit to stick all the excess crap your shoveling in. I would love for Christmas to be about less, about getting ride of things we don't need, giving them to people who need. I want to spend more time shoveling out instead of in. How about you?

Thoughts Revisited

If the shirt fits, wear it?
Ever worn something that just doesn't fit? Like that shirt you were bought that your supposed to wear to make the person who bought it for you happy but the neck's too tight and the sleeves hang funny, not to mention the color. It's not that bad when it's worn over dinner when the person who bought it for you is there but when it's more than an hour it can literally drive you crazy with discomfort. Fingering the neck to stretch. Fidgeting in your chair, wishing you were wearing something else. Ever worn it? That something we wear but would never pick out ourselves. A job, church, belief, relationship, town, school, degree plan, style of music, book we pretend to read, car we drive, friends we hang with. Ya know, those things we wear but don't like wearing cuz it's really not who we are. Well, I don't know about you but I'm tired of wearing things I really don't like to wear. I'm sick of pulling at the neck trying to stretch it out so it fits. I hate waking up in the morning knowing I'm about to roll out of bed and put it on once again. Is this what life is supposed to be like? What is it your wearing that you hate to wear?

EPIC

On Sunday night November 6th a small group of people who are trying to do life in a more real, authentic and impacting way met for the fist time in what we call EPIC.

It was a wonderful night. It was great to be there in that place spending time with each other, listening to each other and getting to know each other, more. I believe our night was a GREAT beginning and I'm already looking forward to next week. Thank you for making our beginning, a memorable one.

I spent some time today with a woman who attended EPIC and had spent some time a few weeks ago at a place where people go who are hurting, want to hurt themselves, have hurt themselves and probably others. She said that what she really enjoyed about this place was that "in there" you could really be "real". At the church I attend there are several AA and NA groups that meet there each week and I have a friend or two that meet in AA's or NA's in the places they live and they all seem to have the same feeling, "it's a place where I can say what I want, confess what I want, come as I am, be real and nobody judges me".

As I thought about this the other day after I hung up with a friend just returning from an AA meeting and following today's conversation. I began to think that maybe God has taken the mantle of confession and healing that His church is supposed to have and given it to others so that confession and healing can actually happen. I'm sure I'm not the first to think this, but has AA, NA, group therapy settings and counselors become what God intended His church to be more like. Are these the new churches? And you know what? The more I hear about places like this, the more I want to attend. To be able to walk into a place where you are not judged by your look, walk, shirt, odor. Share what's on and in your heart to people who say, "been there", "thanks" "it's going to be ok", "glad your here and I'm glad you got this off your chest" or whatever else they say there, sounds like a pretty inviting place.

As I grew up I dealt with many of the things most of us deal with as we grow up. Drinking, lying, cheating, lust, sexual struggles, low self esteem and all that goes with that, smoking and recreational drug use, etc. I guess I could have went to a "church" or the place I attended and confess these things that were eating me up inside but I didn't feel like I could. In fact although it should be the first place where I can confess and get help with life's struggles, it was actually the last place I felt like I could confess anything. Maybe it's time for us to reclaim our role in the realm of confession and forgiveness. Not to wipe out AA's or NA's but to be maybe, just maybe, be how I believe God intends us to be. The loving extension of HIM. The loving extension of GRACE.

What once was hurt
What once was friction
What left a mark.......no longer stings
Because Grace makes beauty............out of ugly things
Grace makes beauty out of ugly things.
from the song GRACE by U2

another thought I thought was cool....wish i thought of it.

I was on a blog. doing some reading and came across this and thought it was good. The guy writing this is named Adam Ellis and he quotes from a guy named Rob Bell and his book "The velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian Faith" He touches on several things in his blog but here is talking about Heaven and Hell

"No explanation of salvation would be complete without touching on the issues of Heaven and Hell. In Scripture, the afterlife is discussed as a reality. However, the main truth of Heaven appears to be less about people going there and more about Heaven coming here. As Rob Bell explains in Velvet Elvis: Repainting The Christian Faith, "For Jesus, heaven and hell were present realities. He talked very little about the life beyond this one because he understood that the life beyond this one is a continuation of the choices we make here and now. For Jesus, the question wasn't, how do I get into heaven? But how do I bring heaven here?" Jesus prayed to his Father "Your Kingdom come. Your will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven." Additionally, Paul, in Romans 8, seems to imply that creation itself has the same promise as the children of God. In short, the goal of God is not just the salvation of individual souls, but the salvation of the whole world.
As for individuals in relation to Heaven and Hell, Bell further explains, "And this reality extends beyond this life. Heaven is full of forgiven people. Hell is full of forgiven people. Heaven is full of people God loves, whom Jesus died for. Hell is full of people God loves, whom Jesus died for. The difference is how we choose to live, which story we choose to live in, which version of reality we trust. Ours or God"

Who's reaility are you trusting?

Something to live by

1 John 3:18
...Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

Number two

Hi. It has come to my attention that if you want to post on here you need to have an account so I guess I'm really just typing for my own good. Since most of the ones I'm typing this information for won't be able to post a comment. Well, maybe you could just sign up? I know I would love to hear from you if you ever get the chance.

Tonight was interesting (10/23). The first hour or so was fine and needed but I loved the last 20 minutes and eating at Rosa's. Except for setting off the alarm...OOPS, sorry Tamy. It was wonderful to listen as a wedding was being talked about and planned and it was so good to talk to a couple about their spiritual lives and making time for each other and the Lord. Helping someone in a real, simple and authentic way is so rewarding. Why don't we do it more? This morning I was in Matthew 25 reading about the parable of the talents. In this parable about gifts given to us, Jesus says that the gifts are given "according to our ability". Not our readiness, nor our perfection but very much according to what we already have. Tonight we didn't go to the school of wedding planning or the school of how to offer advice to people about their spiritual life. We just gave what we had, from what we've known, drawn from a place where we have been before and what was so great is that WE GAVE. I'll paraphrase what Jesus says; "To those who give, even if it's from the little that they have MORE will be given". I will pray that EPIC will be a place where we give, when we have very little and when we have so much. I will pray that YOU will be a person who gives, when you have a little and when you have a lot.

Kelly

Number One

This is it! The first EPIC blog so I better make it good right? Well, I really don't have the time right now since i'm running out the door but I do want to remind everyone about the open mic at the Refuge this Saturday night October 22nd beginning at 9:00 p.m.

I'll be back with more later. Have a good day or night.

K